SparkyFizz

April showers...

...nowhere to be seen!  It's been like summer since mid March in London, give or take the occasional dull, but still warm day.  The city is recovering from the spectacle of the Royal Wedding yesterday, and for me it has been a turbulent month, s0 I look forward to May day tomorrow.

Watching...

Unfurling slowly...

Beautiful tulips given to me by Gigi and Emanuela, my Italian friends visiting London. They are from 'Wild at Heart' - lovely treat, tulips are my favourite flowers.  I love them best as they are fading,  arching and twisting their stems in all directions... 

I was, undoubtedly, a grumpy old woman over the festive season.  As I watched the bank balance decrease, my stress levels increase, and as I wondered how many more times I would have to clean and tidy for whichever person was visiting... I did long for some sanity to return, usually about now.  The children have gone back to school, and my routines are returning.  I am beginning to feel normal again.  I like New Year!  

I do like Christmas, but only for a couple of days and especially after all the food has been cooked.  I love to watch my children open their presents, and although I'm not religious, I love Christmas carols.  I would even like to go to midnight mass, maybe at Southwark Cathedral, but I never quite get it together.  I love the twinkling lights, the food, the alcohol, the rubbish TV...  Beforehand I feel that I'm going to have a nervous breakdown though!  I detest the shopping and commercial side of Christmas, the fact that it starts on September 1st!  I just can't get into it, am always hopelessly disorganized, despite my resolve each year to get everything done by November.  My life just doesn't work like that, too many other things to do.  So I end up frazzled. 

I feel that I'm unfurling slowly into the New Year.  I didn't spend much time on the computer over Christmas, I didn't even take many photos.  Mostly though, I need this quiet time to recover my senses - I'm in rehab...

I've been looking around my house, appreciating some of the things I own.  Some I use regularly, others are decorative, nothing expensive, but precious anyway.

A stash of plates from my Mum's house, used everyday, probably bought at a local market.  I use them for many of my photos...

I bought this mortar and pestle almost 18 years ago in Barcelona.  I had been looking for something similar in London, but they only seemed to sell useless tiny ones at the time.  I spotted this bright yellow specimen and loved it instantly, it's very robust, unbreakable I suspect.  A strange thing is that my cat, Mr Fizz, also loves it.  I have to remind myself to scrub it before I use it, because I have caught Mr Fizz energetically licking and rubbing it on many occasions, much as he would with catnip.  I wonder which herbs he finds so attractive?

My home is full of such things...  stuff picked up cheaply at markets, often unusual 'kitch' items, or bits 'n' pieces inherited from my parents.  They are mostly cheap and irreplaceable, and not the kind of things my friends would have in their homes.  I may have questionable taste, of course, but I think therein lies the attraction, I like my quirky things.  I also love to look around other homes and see things I couldn't possibly have purchased.

Nevertheless, after some time I stop noticing all my special things.  It's only when a friend comments that I realise how precious they are. Maybe I should move things around more often - so that I keep noticing them.  So this year I am going to take some pictures of the things I have accumulated that I love, but which may be slowly disappearing from my view...    

Blog birthday...

I have been blogging for exactly one year today!

This was my first picture...  Reflecting on what has happened in a year is quite interesting.  Some things never change though.  I'm still wondering what to concentrate on when I blog.  I think I thought back then that everything would just fall into place somehow.  A year ago when I started, I thought I would concentrate on the various craft activities I enjoyed.  I did this for a while, but then photography came along.

That took me by surprise, I hadn't intended to study photography last November. I had considered it, but only in the same way that I'd considered learning a language or a musical instrument or an English degree...  

So now I find myself immersed in the study of photography, and I don't find it easy.  I find it technical, hard to understand, frustrating, very time consuming - but I'm still doing it.  I sometimes wonder why I'm doing it - I'm not naive enough to think it will be a life changing event, or that it will enable me to become a professional photographer, I suspect I'm a little too old for that.  

It's partly because, having invested in the equipment, I now feel I must put it to good use.  It's a horribly expensive hobby, there is no end to the amount of money you could spend improving your kit!  Apart from the original purchase of camera and kit lens, I've only bought one lens, the cost made me gasp!  I'm also going to purchase a decent flash gun, but then I'm going to stop for the forseeable future.

I know what I don't want to do, but that isn't very helpful.  I don't want to shoot weddings, the fear factor of screwing up would be unbearable.  I don't want to stand out in the cold for hours on end to get a fantastic landscape shot, although I greatly admire others who do.  I don't want to be involved in the fashion world with all those egos to consider.  I have no desire to take photos of posh watches and jewellery.... so what's left?  

I love taking pictures of flowers, fruit, vegetables and food of all kinds.  I don't know why, it just pleases me.  I love taking pictures in low light, with lots of shadow and sludgy colours and great textures.  I like pictures to look fairly natural, so no food dyes or pizzas screwed to the table top for me.  I love to take close up pictures, or parts of pictures,   Hmm, not doing very well here, can't imagine I'll ever make any money...

At some point I'd like to try crossing photography with art in some way, the creative direction appeals.  I think I would also be interested in food photography, so long as it could be fairly natural.  I love the work David Loftus does for all the Jamie Oliver cookery books.  I think I would also enjoy 'lifestyle' photography, the kind of thing you see in Country Living or Living Etc.  

But all this is just wishful thinking.  Such opportunities are very unlikely to materialize.  Meanwhile, this year I'm hoping to do quite a bit of studio work, with all those massive lights etc.  Portraiture could be good I think.  

So I wonder what I'll be writing about on my 2nd blogging birthday? 

Eat, Pray Love...

If you've never heard of the TED organization, please have a look.  They make videos of  'Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world.'  The talks are fascinating and various - dip in and find something interesting.  

Most people will have become aware of the book 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert, and the subsequent film starring Julia Roberts.  I haven't seen the film yet, but I've read the book which was certainly thought provoking and apposite in our technological and speedy world.  Here I'm including a TED video by Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity.  It was produced in February 2009 as her book became stratospheric...

 

Apart from the free daily newspapers online, I'm also very keen on...

• Arts and Letters Daily
• The School of Life
• Intelligence Squared

All of the above deliver quirky, and insightful views and opinions on our daily lives and global concerns. 

Altered States...

In the last few days I've been thinking a lot about altered states, mainly because I have been working on a similar theme for my photography homework.  Autumn provides a wonderful backdrop for all sorts of changed states outdoors of course, but it also applies to other things.  I was considering how to photograph something from a different viewpoint, changing the dynamic - so the same thing, but different.  My daughter's cross stitch, for example - the back view...

...and the front view...

the same, but different...

In photography the altered state can be stage managed to some extent, at least in the area of still life.

These leaves can be viewed in different ways, dictated by my mood...

the same, but different...

In reality it's not so easy.  I'm constantly surprised when I see photos of myself or hear my voice played back.  I just don't look like I think I do, and sound very different to how I think I sound.  Whether the real or perceived image is better or worse hardly matters, what's interesting is that there is that difference at all.  It's a strange thought that you never see yourself as others do...  you don't even see yourself for real, as viewing your own image is always a reflection.  So the real you is always the opposite of what you see yourself.  Then there is the feeling of being misunderstood.  Have you ever been surprised by how someone has assessed your motives?  I mean have you ever thought that they were completely wrong, that that wasn't what you were trying to get across at all?  Very strange I think - the same, but different...  

This evening I was reading Jane Brocket's blog, I'm an avid fan.  Now I've built up an image of Jane in my mind over the years, obviously based on what she writes about, but also on pictures I've seen of her.  I've never seen her on a video, and today I did for the first time.  In my mind she has a certain way of speaking, particular mannerisms I suppose, I've never really thought about it very clearly. When I saw her on video, I was surprised - that wasn't the voice I'd imagined, nor did she move how I'd imagined.  She didn't even really look the same on the moving image.  So I'm now deconstructing her to fit in with my new knowledge of her.  She was delightful and charming, of course, just not in the way I'd thought all this time.  

The same, but different... 

I fear this could turn into a philosophy lesson, maybe I should stick to trying to take pictures!  

Colours...

Hydrangeas...

 

Pistachios...

 

both sludgy purple and palest green...  I like that